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Human Resources Problem 5/29/2007
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a
lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath
of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it and takes her
complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department
and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance
against him.
The Human Resources ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY 5/29/2007
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY Good : Your wife is pregnant. Bad : It's triplets. Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good : Your wife's not talking to you Bad : She wants a divorce. Ugly : She's a lawyer.
Good : Your is finally maturing. Bad ...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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A , A Chicken and A Harley 5/27/2007
kycpl2playwithOn the farm
lived a chicken an a , both of whom loved to play together.
One day the two were playing, when the fell into a bog
and began to sink. Scared for his life, the whinnied for the chicken
to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm,
he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail,
for he had ...
0 Comments, 123 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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More blond jokes . 5/26/2007
Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench
talking...... And one blonde says to the other, "Which do You think is farther away..........Melbourne or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo,
can You see Melbourne .?????"
CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died.
After he works on it ...
0 Comments, 88 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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Do as I say, not as I do! 5/26/2007
It was the middle of the night when the little boy had to get
up to go to the bathroom. However, as he passed his parent's
open bedroom and happen to look in, he decided to just go
back to bed and forget it. As he slowly climbed in, he shook his head and muttered to
himself, "...and to think that Mom gets pissed at
me for sucking my THUMB!"
0 Comments, 154 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Olympic Condoms 5/26/2007
The couple was about to enjoy their usual Friday date-night
sex, when the young lady happen to look down at a brightly
colored object in the young man's hand. "What are those?" she querried. "Oh. Those are my Olympic condoms" replied
the young man, "They come in Gold, Silver, and Bronze!"
"What color are you using?" she asked. "For you, darling, always the Gold." he responded.
She ...
0 Comments, 98 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Never get Tired of Blondes 5/23/2007
THE BLONDE AND THE GATOR
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades
while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator
shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices
the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one
of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well ...
2 Comments, 135 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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Penis Joke 5/23/2007
Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego... A. "Is it in?"
0 Comments, 79 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Penis Joke 5/23/2007
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
0 Comments, 35 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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lol 5/23/2007
dont do drugs and dont have sex lol what your parents always
said right? lol
0 Comments, 32 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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lol 5/23/2007
hey i need a hand jack alright bob i'll give a hand. jessica
do you need a hand no jack and bob i need ya dicks!!!
0 Comments, 31 Views,
2 Votes
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bjhfgvhjk 5/23/2007
tykirngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg iuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
riujrjntriutjreoifmfodfmgdfigjjrpejfijidfjfmjirjkfjeriskfjeirkdjrugkdpa95k4fkfjkkfkfjhkfkhmfkfkyjgjfkfkfkfkfjgjgjgjfjjfjfjfkgkfjfkgjfkgjfkgjfkgjtitkfkgjfjkgkkfigjfkgkgkgjrritktjrkfjtirifkgjg,
l, mglkhmklmgh klhgklhjfgjhdrfkgjfdlghfdlkfjgfklg
lhfghrthrturdhgldfgoirhtreo rdoghijoth goijgrihtrdogn
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
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Redneck Humor 5/22/2007
Handier than a peter at a picnic (not sure why but sounds
good)
Having more fun than a puppy with two peters
Nervous as a in church
0 Comments, 61 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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Blond in a casino . 5/22/2007
An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived and bet twenty-thousand
pounds on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
luckier when I'm completely nude".
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice
and Yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...
"YES! ...
0 Comments, 88 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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2222 5/22/2007
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating
enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple
and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market,
if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally,
Maureen bring up the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty
much the way you do, " responds the ...
1 Comments, 59 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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A guy dies whilst making love 5/22/2007
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later
the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband
still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife
replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!"
The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral
the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear
rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It
fucking ...
0 Comments, 84 Views,
0 Votes
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Priceless Hangover 5/21/2007
>> >> > >> >Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the
night at a business >>function. >> >He forces himself to open his eyes and the
first thing he sees is a >>couple >> >of aspirins next to a glass of water on the
side table. And, next to >>them, >> >a >> >single red rose! >> > >> > >> > >> >Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front
of him, all clean and >> >pressed. >> > >> > >> > >> > ...
0 Comments, 75 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Italian (I mean Sicilian) Logic 5/21/2007
An old Italian Mafia "Don" is dying and he calls
his grandson to his bed.
"Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated
38 revolver so you always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't lika guns. Howz
about you leava me your Rolex watch instead?"
"Shuddup an'a lissin. Somma day you gonna runna
DA business. You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money,
a ...
0 Comments, 64 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Heres one for ya. 5/20/2007
If women with big breasts work at Hooters, where do women
with 1 leg work?
iHop.
0 Comments, 55 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Social Structure 5/20/2007
A boy got homework to explain about social structure. At
dinner he asked his dad. “Dad, can you explain the social structure to me?” Dad says, “Sure , I will explain in a very simple term
to you” “I provide income to the family, I am the Big Business” “Mom manages the money and runs everything the house, so
she is the Government.” ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Met a woman at the bar 5/19/2007
I met an older woman at a bar last night.
She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and bullshitted a bit,
then she asked if I'd ever had the 'sportsman's
double', a mother and threesome?
I said no.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky
night.
I went back to her place.
She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
"Mom you ...
0 Comments, 117 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Hahaha my dad's co-worker told me this and I have to share 5/18/2007
Q: What is the most important question to ask before having
sex with a woman?
A: When is your husband coming home?
0 Comments, 40 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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How would you like to be an egg? 5/18/2007
>If you think YOUR life is bad..... > >How would you like to be an egg? > > > >You only get laid once. > >You only get eaten once. > >It takes four minutes to get hard. > >Only two minutes to get soft. > >You share your box with 11 other guys > >But worst of all.. > >the only chick that ever sat on >your face was your mother!!! > >So cheer up, Your life ain't that bad!!!!
0 Comments, 50 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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THE CALL 5/17/2007
I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other
day.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic
nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked
if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that
"magic."
Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep
pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you ...
0 Comments, 75 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Today's funnies 5/16/2007
Marriage bliss
A husband and wife are in bed together. She feels his hand
rubbing against her shoulder. "Oh honey, that feels
good.", she says. His hand moves to her breast. "Gee,
honey, that feels wonderful.", she says. His hand
moves to her leg. "Oh, honey, don't stop."
she begs. But he stops................. "Why did
you stop?" she cries ??? "I found the remote..."
he ...
0 Comments, 163 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Beans 5/16/2007
>One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When
it became apparent >that we would marry, >I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. > >Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down
on the way home from >work. > >Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband
and told him that I >would be late because >I had to walk home. > >On my way, I passed by a small diner and the ...
0 Comments, 56 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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Farmer 5/15/2007
A farmer comes home from a hard day out in the fields and walks
into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says "This
is the pig I've been fucking" the wife says "You
dumbass thats not a pig its a sheep" He says "Shut
up I wasn't talking to you"
0 Comments, 113 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Nervous Wreck 5/15/2007
I was already a nervous wreck about my upcoming surgery.
It didn't help matters when the admitting nurse asked
me, Have you had a hysterectomy before.
1 Comments, 112 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Gas Price 5/15/2007
The action movie had a spectacular scene where the bad gay
blew up a convenience store. The building and the gas pumps
in front were engulfed in a huge ball of fire, Wow! my husband
gasped. I was about to say, That was a pretty impressive
explosion, when he continued, Did you see the price of regular?
A dollar eighty-nine a gallon.
0 Comments, 108 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Long lived 5/15/2007
A co-worker returned after lunch carrying a dress from
the cleaners. Pretty said one of the guys. Big date tonight?
I picked it up for a friend, she replied, adding, Do you
really think I could fit in a tiny thing like this? Jerry
smiled and said, Do you really think I've lived this
long by answering questions like that?
0 Comments, 80 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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